Kids.

I work at the Boys and Girls Club currently and it is a great job. A rewarding job. A hard one. I love love love working with kids, they are so precious and it teaches me to be a better future mother someday. I mean they are great kids but they are a lot of work.

It breaks my heart when the majority of kids' parents are divorce. To see five and six year olds just sad about their parents not being together anymore breaks my heart and its more common that not amongst the kids. All the more reason to love them and care for them, I feel. It's funny that you end up spending more time with the kids then maybe they do with their parents. They know when your not feeling quite right or when you are crazy tired. They are so honest and I admire that about them. I wish I was more like them in so many ways. I thank God for the years of wisdom that I have on these kids, but I see the importance of what Jesus said about us coming to Him with the trust and reliance of a child. Seeing kids love hard and trusting so much to the point where it could be dangerous. Now they need to be taught boundaries in trusting strangers and those that could cause harm to them, but they know how to trust and be dependent.

But I want my life to be like a child as in a reflection of how I trust God. I was listening to a sermon the other day and I was convicted and challenged as the pastor's words came through my headphones as he asked me if I trust God so much for my life and all that's in it that I am a child doing what I should do knowing that my heavenly Father is taking care of me just like a parent takes care of their child to the point where the child plays, care-free. Do I? ..... mmmm.... I can't say that I do.

I want to. It's just so hard. When the temptation to hang on to my worry and my fear of what's in the future becomes more comfortable then trusting God for uncertainty in my life, that is when I feel even more lost and confused. See these kids teach me to be more Christ-like. They teach me kindness. They teach me silliness. I admire their playfulness. They teach me how wretched I can be with my sour attitude and disobedience. Sometimes I'm so shocked by their quick disobedience after I have just told them to sit still and stop talking. What do they do after I tell them that? Yep you guessed it... they move around and talk. I get so frustrated. But wait, I do that. I disobey God all the time. Yet he still loves me more than I could ever comprehend. I am loved by an amazing God.

I hope I can strive to be more like a child in my dependency on God and trust in Him.

Children, they are great.